Retailers…Enough Already!

Christmas was always a big holiday for me. As a kid I couldn’t wait to rip into those presents on Christmas morning. But Christmas didn’t just mean getting “stuff.” It meant our whole family would visit our extended family and we’d have these amazing get togethers with all of our relatives. I don’t remember what “stuff” I got for Christmas when I was 10, but I remember how every one of those family gatherings made me feel. As an adult, I wish I could bottle that feeling and experience it everyday.

The holidays were a magical time. Yeah, presents were fun, but being with people you loved was even more fun. And the “holidays” were limited to the month of December, which made them all that more special.

The last ten years or so I’ve noticed something, and I’m sure everyone else has too. Retailers are forcing Christmas on us earlier and earlier. I saw complete Christmas displays in October this year! A local radio station held a Christmas music “preview” the weekend after Halloween. Do we really need a preview of Christmas music? How about letting us get through Thanksgiving before shoving the Christmas holiday down our throats? When you celebrate a holiday for three straight months, it’s really not all that special now, is it?

Retailers have turned Christmas into one big money grab. And it’s a money grab we are supporting. Retailers will have you believe the holidays are about gift giving and nothing else. If your kid doesn’t have the latest and greatest, retailers make you believe you are a bad parent. Retailers cry out that you need to make sure your neighbor/co-worker/mail carrier/garbage collector/babysitter/everyone in your life gets a present from you!

What should be a relaxing time of the year is full of stress to so many people. Families go into debt just to buy gifts. And yes, I fully blame the commercialization of the holiday on retailers. However, those who buy into the hype are guilty as well. When are we going to say, “Enough already?”

The last couple of years Thanksgiving hasn’t even been safe from retailers. First retailers opened at 5am on “Black Friday.” Then they started opening at midnight. And last year they started opening on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving! Does that not strike anyone else as simply sad?

Christmas is no longer a jolly season. It’s lost its magic. Christmas has turned into a three-month-long money grab with stressed out shoppers crowding malls in a zombie-like state. I hear all this talk about the “War on Christmas.” The only war on Christmas is being waged by retailers. All you need to do to figure that out is listen to the battle cry of that retailer insisting you need to buy, buy, buy this holiday season.

Your job does not define who you are

Most people know me as Suzanne Jalot on the radio. I’m the person cracking the mic from 10am-3pm. Sometimes I have something interesting to say and sometimes I just mumble through announcing song titles and artists. But I’m usually labeled as “that lady on the radio.” If I hadn’t been called “Ma’am” the other day, I might say I’m “that girl on the radio.” But that’s another blog post.

But the truth is I have a little secret. Even though I’ve been in the radio industry for most of my career, that isn’t exactly my specialty. As a matter of fact, until three years ago I had never done a live show on my own. I’m not quite sure if the bosses realized that when they offered me the 10am-3pm time slot, but I’m here now! Most of my radio career has been spent in news and promotions.

My real strength though, is marketing and public relations. I am a marketing nerd. I have a degree in media studies and I’ve studied marketing concepts since college. If it wasn’t for my marketing expertise, I would have never been able to start my own publishing business and run it for the last six years. I would guess that if people pay me to consult with them on marketing concepts and social media (and come back for more!) I must be doing something right? Right?

People have certain expectations of people who talk on the radio for a living. And let’s just say they don’t expect them to be intelligent or overly educated. I’m not saying it doesn’t take talent to talk on the radio, but hey, we aren’t designing rocket ships in here. To a certain extent I don’t even think those in management positions in radio even think of the on-air folks as intelligent.

My point? How many other professions do we label? Do you assume just because someone cleans houses for a living that means he or she doesn’t have an education? What about that guy delivering your pizza? Think he must not be very smart? Maybe that woman cleaning your house does it because she loves hands-on work. Maybe she has a business degree and wanted to start a cleaning business. Maybe that guy delivering your pizza is doing it as a second job while he puts himself through graduate school.

People choose different jobs for different reasons. But if you label someone simply for the job they choose to do, you may be missing out on some very intelligent conversation. And if you are an employer and you label someone like that, you could be missing out on a whole lot more.

What if?

I was driving in typical Wilmington traffic a few weeks ago and getting extremely frustrated. It’s rare for me to drive in Wilmington and not get frustrated. There’s always that “one” driver, you know?

So I’m driving and I get stuck behind someone doing 15 below the speed limit in the left lane. I finally get around this driver and another driver cuts me off. My frustration level is about to go through the roof by this time. I just want to get home!

But then something happened. I don’t know where it came from but I had a flash of  a thought. What if I decided that jerk of a driver was not going to bother me. What if I decided that no matter what happened during my drive, I would just continue on to my destination without worrying about the other cars on the road? What if? What if?

What if it actually worked?

Once I said those words to myself I immediately felt a sense of calm. I smiled to myself. Could it really be that simple?

I tried it again. And again. Every time I felt myself getting riled up, frustrated or upset with something I would just say, “What if I don’t let this bother me?” We can’t control what other people do or what happens to us, but we have complete control over how we react to it. We have a choice that so many of us forget. We get to decide how we feel so why would we want to hand that power over to someone else?

“What if” has become my new mantra. And it works like a charm. Every time. What if we all just decided to be happy?

Take a lesson from your younger self

Middle school came to my mind the other day. Why in the heck was I thinking about middle school? What an awkward time. Maybe my subconscious was trying to send me a message. So I thought really hard. Who was I in middle school and why were these memories suddenly surfacing?

I was a complete dork who took advanced classes and was very awkward in social situations. But I was also something else. I was absolutely fearless.

It was sixth grade. I wanted to try everything. I’d never been musically-inclined, but I signed up for music class and played the flute. I can barely draw a straight line, but I signed up for art. And then there were the tryouts. First came the dance troupe. I was 12 years old and never had dance lessons but that didn’t stop me. I stayed after school and performed not only in front of the judges but also fellow “dancers.”

I can’t imagine how the judges (or the real dancers in the room) contained their laughter through the whole thing but my 12-year-old self was confident she was giving the performance of her life. The other dancers were trained and came with prepared routines. I, on the other hand, was bouncing around the room with moves I made up on the spot. I was bad. Very bad. But one thing I wasn’t was afraid.

Next on my list was cheerleading. This is actually something I was almost good at. I ended up surviving the first round of eliminations but didn’t make the squad. (I did make the squad in high school and was even captain of the Junior Varsity squad, so things turned out okay!)

Then I decided I would try acting. I read for a part in the school play but didn’t even get a callback. That’s okay, because next I had set my sights on joining the volleyball team. It didn’t matter that I had never played before in my life. Tryouts did not go so well. But I think the coach felt sorry for this pathetic little 12-year-old and asked me if I wanted to be an official scorekeeper for the team. Woohoo! I was doing something!

Looking back I can’t believe I put myself through all that humiliation. I had absolutely no business trying any of those things. But looking back I also realized that my 12-year-old self wasn’t humiliated. I took it with a grain of salt. When one thing didn’t work out, I just tried something else. I never got discouraged and I never let a lack of experience hold me back.

I think my 12-year-old self was onto something there.

The Power of the Words “Good Job. Thank you.”

I’ve worked for many different bosses throughout my career and have had my share of bad managers and good managers. But what turns a good boss into a great boss? In my humble opinion it’s the ability to say these four words – “Good job. Thank you.”

Those simple four words can sometimes mean more to an employee than a bonus, or even a raise. Okay, well, let’s be honest, of course we all love bonuses and raises and perks. But that’s not necessarily what’s going to make us happy at work. I think I could stand to be pretty miserable at work if I was getting paid a million dollars, but I guarantee at some point I’d probably snap. On the other hand, very early in my career I had a job where I made barely more than minimum wage and I was happier in that job than I was in subsequent jobs where I made significantly more money.

Why do I cherish the memories of that barely-more-than-minimum-wage job? Because I had a great boss. He recognized the value that employees bring to the organization. He realized employees aren’t just cogs in the wheel. They are the heart and soul of the business and, when treated well, would in turn be proud of the job they were doing. He was smart enough to know that happy employees equals good business. And by good business, I mean, business would be good.

This boss said those magical words on a regular basis. There were simple passes in the hallway, “Great news report this morning, Suzanne!” There were thank you emails after big company events thanking ALL employees for a job well done. And not just a blanket thank you. This boss took the time to address each person’s contribution individually in the thank you letter. And then there was just the genuine interest this boss took in all his employees. No small talk here. He asked real questions and was interested in the response.

No matter what, there was always recognition. Recognition that while this “big boss” was running the show, he always let his employees know he valued their contribution to the bottom line, no matter how small the job was.

My career has been dotted with bad bosses too. There was the boss who no matter what you did, no matter how excited you were about an accomplishment or reaching a goal, she couldn’t bring herself to say “good job.” Good news and accomplishments from employees were usually met with a, “Well that’s nice but we still need to do XYZ.”

After one recent project my team was brimming with pride and went to see the boss. Smiling and giddy with excitement we entered her office. “Hey, boss, we created a great promotion and managed to blow that goal out of the water! Isn’t that wonderful?!” Her response? A curt, “okay” without even looking up from her desk. Talk about feeling deflated. Our excitement level went from 100 to zero in less than a second. I began looking for a new job the next day.

Even though I’m not a “boss” I still try to practice what that first great boss of mine taught me and it can be applied to all areas of your life, not just your job. Never underestimate the power of a simple “Good job. Thank you.”

Are you putting passion into what you don’t want?

I ran across something yesterday that really made me stop and think.

From the Secret Daily Teachings (www.thesecret.tv):

Most people don’t realize how much passion they put into what they don’t want. When you speak to a friend and you tell them all about an “awful” situation, you are putting passion into what you don’t want. When you react to an event negatively, with the response that it is “terrible,” you are putting passion into what you don’t want.

Well are you putting passion into what you don’t want? How many times have you faced a negative situation and allowed it to ruin your whole day? What if you just decided to move on and focus on the positive? What if you decided that every day was going to be a good day?

Easier said than done, I know. But it can’t hurt to try, can it?

Why are we so afraid of our real age?

April is an exciting month for me because I always look forward to my birthday each year. It’s the one day of the year it’s okay to say, “It’s all about ME!” and not sound like a complete attention whore.

As each birthday comes, I am excited about the possibilities of the coming year and the opportunities that await me. Sadly, that’s not the case with many people. It seems these people, and to a certain extent, society, place a stigma on getting older. Women, especially, seem reluctant to reveal how old they are. I’ve never understood that.

There are two indisputable facts in life: You either grow older or you die. Now which would you rather do?

Why do we make fun of age? I’m not talking about the innocent “Over the Hill” jokes we revel in from time to time. I’m talking about the snarky comments from 20-somethings  such as, “What is he, like 45? Dude should just give it up. He’s too old for that.” It makes you want to reply, “Yeah, it must suck to be 45. For your sake, I hope you never have to live that long.”

But that would be a nasty thing to say. Those hateful comments about age are more than likely a by-product of fear. Fear of losing the only advantage those 20-somethings think they have in life – their youth. But that’s a myth. The reality is that most people lead much more productive and interesting lives with each passing year. I know I have.

Of course, the age war  goes both ways as I remember being 25 and hearing 30 and 40-somethings condescendingly explain that  I was “too young to understand.” Those comments stem from fear too. The fear that we are getting older and since we don’t have our youth anymore, we must belittle those who do. So what is this? When we have nothing constructive to add we resort to making fun of each other based on age?

I am proud of each of the 36 years I’ve been on this earth. Some people never get the privilege of living 36 years so I consider myself lucky with each passing year. Isn’t denying our age a slap in the face to those who never had the luxury of making it to that milestone?

Whether you are 25, 45 or 85, be proud of the years you’ve been lucky enough to enjoy and shout your age from the rooftop! If you’re 25, soak up the fact that you are still very young and enjoy it! If you’re 45, know that you are much better off than you were at 25 and never too old for anything you truly want to do. And never, ever be afraid or embarrassed to let someone know your real age.

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In celebration of what will be my 37th year I’m starting a new tradition and I invite you to do the same for your birthday month. Each day in April leading up to my birthday on the 28th, I’m going to list one thing for which I’m grateful. My list is below and will be updated daily. Where’s yours?

April 1: I have the three most wonderful dogs who give me unconditional love and ask for very little in return.

April 2: My boyfriend of 9 years is loving, patient, understanding and makes every day better.

April 3: I am fortunate to be in good health and able to lead an active lifestyle.

April 4: I have a comfortable home.

April 5: I have a great support network of lifelong friends and I value and cherish those friendships.

April 6: I can wear flip flops to work!

April 7: The ocean is merely a 10 minute drive from my home.

April 8: My body is strong and I can run!

April 9: I am lucky to have seen many different parts of the United States (and will continue to do so!)

April 10: With a simple kind word, I have the power to make someone’s day better.

April 11: Today I am thankful for aspirin.

April 12: I have a caring and understanding boss and fabulous co-workers.

April 13: I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to meet many unique people.

April 14: My backyard is an oasis.

April 15: Beautiful, sunny days!

April 16: I am capable of living independently.

April 17: Friendly people.

April 18: Morning walks with my love.

April 19: That moment in the morning when I see the sunlight peek through the window.

April 20: The kindness of strangers.

April 21: I am able to enjoy music that touches your soul.

April 22: My family…both by blood and otherwise.

April 23: I have a great group of co-workers!

April 24: The sweet smell of the ocean.

April 25: I love that I can relax and enjoy a glass of wine on the back porch.

April 26: Baby birds! Four of them growing up in rented space on our front porch.

April 27: Part of my job is getting paid to talk…and write.  Love! Joy!

April 28: I am another year older and for that I am extremely grateful!